While life on hospice has become more normal for me, I still have the feeling that I am “living on the edge.” Today is all I really have for certain and I need to live each day with that in mind. While my strength is waning a little each day, signs of the inability of my heart not being able to pump blood to my extremities point toward heart failure and I face a heart attack at any time. I realize that tomorrow may not be mine to live and therefore make sure to tell my loved ones every day of my love for them and thank them for their loving care for me. And I try to live each day as fully as I can—not knowing whether I will have another one. I am blessed that I have this foreknowledge of my condition so I can prepare, as many do not have that foreknowledge. Others are not so blessed.
But as I look at this dangerous world in which we live I think all of us are in a similar position to mine. Illnesses strike us down unexpectedly; terrorists set off car bombs or blow themselves up in large crowds; automobile accidents snuff out lives quickly and without warning; we are gunned down by bullets meant for others but we are unluckily in their path or a deranged shooter chooses the place we are in to open fire —it may be a shopping mall, a movie theater, a school or a church. It seems that we are not safe anywhere!
The principle is the same or all of us—without warning we and our loved ones lives may be snuffed out.
So when we tell our loved ones goodbye in the morning we need to tell them that they are loved That may be the last time we have a chance to do so Death is so final—-it erases any attempt we might wish we had to express our love; to express our need for forgiveness; to express our own forgiveness to those we love.
That is the life we all live as we are “living on the edge”. We may not think the phrase applies to us, but it does. Give your husband, your wife, your children, your mother and father, your grandchildren and your siblings the love you feel for them every chance you are given because, like it or not we are all “living on the edge” every day.
May we build our lives as the French writer Stephen Grellet (1773-1855) wrote:
I shall pass thru this world but once.
Any good I can do or any kindness I can show another human being
Let me do it now.
Let me not deter or neglect it—
FOR I SHALL NOT PASS THIS WAY AGAIN.
Pastor Jim Bell's Jottings 
I’m so sorry to hear that you are unwell, Pastor. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you.
Thank you Erica for your kind word and prayers.
Good post, Jim. And so true. But I didn’t know you are in hospice now. Knew the doc had started saying no to you concerning working. I’m so glad you see this time as a blessing. It truly is. And while each day could be the last, being in hospice doesn’t mean there is an expiration date. We truly should live each day, both like it’s our last, and like we’ll live forever. Always ready, and always creating new ways to enjoy our days.
Thanks for your comment. I like your words that ‘being in hospice doesn’t mean there is an expiration date. We truly should live each day , both like it’s our last, and like we’ll live forever. That says better than I did what I was trying to express. Thank you for adding that to my post.
Love to you Jim. You continue to have a positive impact on the world Ana new. Hugs to you both.
Thank you for these words my friend. I’m reading of your failing health while sitting here at the Disciples Center at Tawakoni, one of the pieces of your legacy. Generations of young people will benefit from your service in response to God’s (and Patsie’s) call.
Shalom!
Thank you Kelly—your kind words about the camp mean a lot to me. Its success is one of the accomplishments I treasure and it’s good to see that my part in bringing it about is remembered by someone I worked with and admire.
You have a huge positive impact!!! Thank You
Stephanie—thank you for your kind remark!
Oh Jim, my heart is incredibly sad to read of your condition. I didm’t realize you are in hospice. It sure brings back memories for me. i’m so sorry friend! I’m glad the Lord is showing you the Blessings in it so you can share love with those you love. And we all should… Life isn’t safe as you write for any of us, but it’s easy to get caught up in other things and forget that love is the main focus. Thank you for always being a great encourager on my blogs! Love you dearly. Many Blessings. Lene